An AI reconstruction of the yeshiva of Shem and Ever
For decades, independent scholars have suggested that several narratives in the Bible offer evidence of ancient UFOs and extraterrestrial visitations. The idea was made famous by Erich Anton Paul von Däniken (b. 1935), in his best-selling Chariots of the Gods (1968).[1] While von Däniken and other such scholars were once discounted as “fringe,” the increasing number of recent UFO sightings has forced scholars to revisit the question.[2]
In keeping with the approach of “Torah study informed by academic scholarship and science,” I turned to AI technology to weigh in on the question. The answer is unequivocal; the alien hypothesis has been confirmed. Now for the first time ever, we can reconstruct these biblical encounters in ultra high definition.
1. Ezekiel’s Vision of the Merkava
Ezekiel’s chariot is the most famous biblical UFO sighting, and has been written about by NASA scientist Josef Blumrich (1913–2002) in The Spaceships of Ezekiel (Bantam, 1974), among others. This AI-generated photo offers a clear explanation of the mysterious wheels, described as separate from the chariot itself,[3] as well as the animal spirit that moves it.[4] Remarkably, it also explains the extraterrestrial origins of the Muppets.
2. Elijah’s Fiery Chariot
As long suspected, the “fiery chariot” that helped Elijah ascend into the sky is a technologically advanced spacecraft.[5] It is unclear whether the AI identifies Elijah with St. Nicholas or Dumbledore.
3. The Nephilim
The Nephilim who took human women, bringing on Noah’s Flood,(Gen 6:4) are indeed “skyfallers” from a distant planet. We have also learned that the corruption of the antediluvian world included cavorting in nightclubs.
4. The Tower of Babel
Apparently, the mysterious high-rise tower, which reached the clouds, was an extraterrestrial landing pad and cellphone tower.
5. Three “Angelic” Visitors
Scholars have long posited that YHWH himself was one of the three figures who visited Abraham and Sarah after his circumcision.[6] AI, programmed not to be offensive or heretical, reinterprets the scene, with the alien in the middle wearing a “Yah Way!” t-shirt. In any case, the aliens seem to have worked up quite an appetite.[7]
6. Lot’s Visitors
These same aliens, evidently still hungry, took off their clothing (and head coverings) and appeared in Sodom for dinner. In another image too graphic to post, the aliens wrecked the town when the after-dinner party became bawdy.[8]
7. YHWH’s Messenger Stops Abraham
The ram stuck in the thicket was not the only one in the scene that had horns—the messenger “from heaven” (i.e., from outer space) did as well. Interestingly, AI reconstructs Abraham without a beard.
8. Jacob’s Stairway to Heaven
Jacob’s vision of angels ascending and descending a stairway from heaven was a space escalator at the Bethel Mall. This explains why Jacob asks YHWH for food and clothing (Gen 28:20).
9. The Being that Wrestles Jacob
Jacob was renamed Israel after successfully defeating this alien in a wrestling match at the Jabbok River. Although he refused to give his name to Jacob, AI posits that his professional wrestling name was “Sciatica.”[9]
10. Moses’ Glowing Face at Sinai
After contact with the aliens, who provided him with the tablets, Moses’ DNA became mutated, rendering his skin metallic, and thus too reflective for people to look at (Exod 34:35).
11. The Pillar of Fire
The “pillar of fire” over the Tabernacle was in fact a beam of energy emanating from the mothership, no doubt the same one that killed Nadab and Abihu (Lev 10) when they burned “alien incense,” accidentally triggering a deadly energy pulse. I further theorize that the “pillar of cloud” (Num 9:15) was the craft’s exhaust fumes.
12. The Scouts’ Grasshoppers
The scouts’ episode describes Nephilim as so large that the Israelites are the size of grasshoppers in comparison.[10] Through the help of AI reconstruction, however, the “grasshopper” reference is revealed to be not about size but species. We therefore can correctly emend the biblical text from וַנְּהִי בְעֵינֵינוּ כַּחֲגָבִים, “we looked like grasshoppers to ourselves,” to וַיִּהְיוּ בְעֵינֵינוּ כַּחֲגָבִים, “they looked like grasshoppers to us.”
13. Balaam’s Donkey
We can better appreciate the bravery of Balaam's donkey, now that we understand that she stood her ground in an encounter with a light-saber-wielding alien.[11]
The Torah’s Concern for Aliens
Science has finally confirmed what the Torah has known all along: Extraterrestrial beings have visited Earth and played a vital role in our formative traditions. The evidence was right there all along, but both mainstream academia and Orthodoxy could not see past their respective interpretations.
Had they just read the Torah’s words literally, they would have seen that the Torah explicitly admonishes us to be kind to aliens:
Leviticus 19:33 – “When an alien lives with you in your land, do not mistreat him.”
Deuteronomy 27:19 – “Cursed is the man who withholds justice from the alien… and let us say: Amen.”
